What Is a Peer Grief Ally?

Allies are peer helpers.

• “Peer” means “equal.” Allies are people bereaved by a death from substance use who volunteer to help others who are bereaved by a similar cause of death.
• “Ally” means “supporter.” Allies offer emotional support similar to the help a good friend, close colleague, or longtime neighbor might provide.
• Allies know grief. Their understanding is heart knowledge and soul knowledge, learned from their own grief journey.
• Allies are trained in basic grief support. They are volunteers who provide essential assistance. They are not clinicians or professional counselors.

Allies deliver personalized assistance.

• Allies listen. They know that everyone’s grief is different and that individualized support helps people find their own way.
• Allies are present. They help by simply being there for a person in need and affirming that there is hope even in the face of tragedy.
• Allies care. They aspire to know each person for who they are and to accept them as they are.
• Allies understand their limitations: They know that grief cannot be “fixed” and that “solutions” are discovered by each person in their own time.

Allies help people cope with grief.

• Allies realize the magnitude of grief. Their compassion helps people begin navigating a changed world after a tragic loss.
• Allies validate feelings. They believe that grief is normal and that people’s experience of grief is a natural result of losing a beloved and precious person.
• Allies are dedicated helpers. Whether they meet with a person a few times, a dozen times, or more, they do all they can do to be as helpful as they can be.
• Allies see grief as a lifelong journey. They help people begin their journey and know that what is happening now is the first part of an ongoing process.

Allies connect to community.

• Allies offer resources. They introduce people to valuable resources that are available in the community and point them to effective self-help tools.
• Allies alleviate isolation. Their main message to bereaved people is that they are not alone in their grief.
• Allies empower people. They follow bereaved people’s lead regarding the help and connections that might interest them and meet their needs.
• Allies have support. They are trained and assisted by SADOD, a statewide peer grief support network (see sadod.org).